{"product_id":"bad-elf-steals-a-man-paperback","title":"Bad Elf Steals a Man - Paperback","description":"\u003cp\u003eby \u003cb\u003eAlina Jacobs\u003c\/b\u003e (Author)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhen you're the family disaster, you don't beg Santa for a holiday miracle-you just try not to commit any felonies before Christmas. \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eUnfortunately, I start the holiday season by running over a man with my grandfather's Cadillac.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSo naturally, I panic, stuff his corpse into the trunk, and carry on my merry way.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDon't judge. I literally cannot go to jail. This year's been bad enough, starting with burning down my sister's wedding. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSpoiler alert-Mr. Hit-N-Run survives! \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e... As I find out when he surprise-attacks me while I'm trying to bury him in the yard.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eLawrence is tall, moody, unfairly attractive, and deeply unimpressed with my life choices. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd my love for Christmas. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd the fact that my dog ate his surveillance footage. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eWhoops\u003c\/em\u003e. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWords like delusional, liability, and financially illiterate are thrown around. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHe doesn't believe in holiday magic, which is unfortunate, because I need some. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI'm thirty, single, unemployed, and trapped at my family's failing Christmas inn with a small army of freeloading relatives. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOne last hurrah before my evil sister sells the inn off to be bulldozed.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe only way to save the inn? Find a boyfriend. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThankfully, Christmas magic brought a handsome stranger into my life!\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eObviously, I ask Lawrence to fake date me for the holidays.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHe tells me to get lost. Because my life? So not a Rom-Com. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNow I'm bringing home Grinch-level-terrible men to be the love of my life. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eLawrence is furious. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI don't care, because I'm desperate. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDesperate enough to do a spicy video call while wearing only a Santa hat.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAll to save the inn, right?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut I'm the one in trouble when I hear his deep voice coming out of my laptop speakers.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"Kittie Kat, I thought I warned you to stay off those dating websites...\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eThis standalone holiday romantic comedy features one heroine with generational-level bad luck, a Christmas-hating bad boy, and a happily ever after that lands harder than your granny's eggnog!\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n            \u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eNumber of Pages:\u003c\/strong\u003e 546\u003c\/div\u003e\n            \u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/strong\u003e 1.1 x 8 x 5.25 IN\u003c\/div\u003e\n            \u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePublication Date:\u003c\/strong\u003e November 05, 2026\u003c\/div\u003e\n            ","brand":"BooksCloud","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":67972588831027,"sku":"9781970969061","price":39.35,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0300\/5595\/6612\/files\/W0oCDxd45R9781970969061.webp?v=1794430434","url":"https:\/\/www.vysn.com\/products\/bad-elf-steals-a-man-paperback","provider":"VYSN","version":"1.0","type":"link"}