{"product_id":"have-a-dark-day-a-dear-cthulhu-collection-paperback","title":"Have A Dark Day: a Dear Cthulhu collection - Paperback","description":"\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align: right;\"\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/reportcopyrightinfringement.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eReport copyright infringement\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cp\u003eby \u003cb\u003ePatrick Thomas\u003c\/b\u003e (Author)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe very first collection of Dear Cthulhu columns as everyone's favorite monsters dishes advice and tried to help humanity in spite of itself, proving that Cthulhu's advice can brighten even a dark day \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDear Cthulhu, \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e My boyfriend \"Jim\" and I have been seeing each other for 4 months. Things have been going great. Jim tells me he loves me and I know I care for him a lot. Our making out has always been hot and heavy. Jim's a great kisser, but lately, Jim's been wanting to go beyond necking and petting. I'm just not sure I'm ready to give him my virginity. Jim says if I really love him I'll make love to him. My mother always told me if a guy truly loved me, he'll wait until I'm ready and not pressure me. My friends all think he's really hot and I should do him. I'm the only one of my girlfriends still a virgin, although I have one gay guy friend who still is. What should I do?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e-Confused Virgin in Vermont\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDear Confused, \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e Virginity is a sacred, beautiful thing and any man who would pressure you to destroy such a rare treasure is a cad you would be better off without. As for your so-called girlfriends, they sound like a bunch of twits. Remember, it is better to be a leader of men than a follower. The only one you should ever follow is of course Great Cthulhu. Speaking of which some followers... rather friends of mine are throwing a ritual sacrifice... um, I mean party shortly when the heavens align. How would you like to be the guest of honor? We would love to have you. Email me at virgins@dearcthulhu.com. And bring a dish to pass.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDear Cthulhu, \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e I've slept with my Teddy every night since I was a little boy, even though my parents say I'm too old. I'm in kindergarten now. The other morning when I woke up, Teddy was gone. I looked everywhere but he disappeared. I think the monster in my closet ate Teddy, but Daddy says I'm wrong. Can you help me?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e-Five in Freeport\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDear Five, \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYes, Cthulhu can help you. Your father is correct. The monster in your closet did not eat Teddy. It was the creature under your bed. And he is hungry again.\u003c\/p\u003e\n            \u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eNumber of Pages:\u003c\/strong\u003e 100\u003c\/div\u003e\n            \u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/strong\u003e 0.24 x 9 x 6 IN\u003c\/div\u003e\n            \u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePublication Date:\u003c\/strong\u003e December 17, 2018\u003c\/div\u003e\n            ","brand":"BooksCloud","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52539267449139,"sku":"9781890096618","price":21.38,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0300\/5595\/6612\/files\/WXhKaXV0ZXQxY3RGU25WOVN0bjdFZz09.webp?v=1760853487","url":"https:\/\/www.vysn.com\/en-ca\/products\/have-a-dark-day-a-dear-cthulhu-collection-paperback","provider":"VYSN","version":"1.0","type":"link"}